This post is late, and I blame the insecurities that overwhelmed me this week. They weren't necessarily writing related, were more about identity in general, but I guess IWSG is the right place to talk about it.
I
think whenever you're involved in a creative profession it's difficult to
own your identity. I've read other posts along these lines, so I know that I'm not alone. It's
always--ALWAYS--been hard for me to say, "I'm a writer."
Aspiring
writer? Sure.
Wannabe-published
author? Absolutely.
But
writer? I don't know what it is, but saying it straight up like that makes me uncomfortable. The same thing happens when I talk about
dance. I've been dancing for most of my
life, but I've never been comfortable saying, "I'm a dancer."
Dance
teacher? Yes.
Dance
enthusiast? Of course.
Again, the sentence, "yes, I'm a dancer," is so hard for me. It's like, if you give it a definitive title,
there's more pressure, more judgment…more expectations. Sometimes I wish I could just believe in
myself and the things I create. Be
normal. I don't have anything published
yet--except one poem--though I've completed a few manuscripts. I've never performed on Broadway, though I
hope one of my students will one day.
Anyway,
it's just been one of those weeks :). I
hope everyone is doing well. I
hope you know who you are--and that you aren't afraid to say it.
Ninja
Girl
I think it's so tough to say those because it makes it so official! It's also hard for me to say it, I feel like I have to be on a certain stage in my life to be able to call myself that. Like everyone advises though, I think we should all eventually own it.
ReplyDeleteThere was another blog that had the same theme. She was uncomfortable with telling people she was a writer. I used to be this way. Like when someone called and was like "what are you doing?" I had to find an excuse because I couldn't *possibly* tell them I was working on my novel. I mean, what gives me the right to write a novel? I think it's embarrassment spawned by insecurity. We're not ready to believe this of ourselves yet, so why should others? You'll get to a point where you'll feel comfortable in confessing your loves as who you are. "I'm a writer. I'm a dancer." It just takes time.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'll be comfortable calling myself a writer until I have something in print. After that -- good...bad...or indifferent, I'll be a writer. :)
ReplyDeleteI think it takes different people different times to get to that point of saying, I'm a writer. IMO, you've completed manuscripts, so you are one. If someone has ever seen potential in your work, you are one.
ReplyDeleteI'd say you're both a dancer and a writer. And if you've had something published, that mean author as well.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time telling people I'm the author of books because then they ask and rarely do they enjoy the genre I write, so it fumbles at that point.
Also, saying it, too, opens you up to comments and questions from people and sometimes I, at least, just don't want to deal with that.
ReplyDelete